so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
