Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
