Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
