i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
