I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
