Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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