some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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