I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
