Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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