I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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