Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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