like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
