first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
