Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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