He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
