if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
