kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
