she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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