So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
