I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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