no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
