in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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