I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
