I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
