All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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