Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
