Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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