why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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