i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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