playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
