just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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