i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
