You work out of a Hotel?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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