I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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