covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
