Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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