member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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