I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
