got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize