Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
