I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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