I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
