Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
