Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
