ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
