Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
