I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
