is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
well you can't waste a boner
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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