What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize