Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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