somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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