FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
its not stalking. its research.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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