and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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