hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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