What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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