i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
