Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
