You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
