is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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