Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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