you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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