So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
