Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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